I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
ugly people sure do ruin things
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
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