Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Randomize
