question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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