I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
I think a kid would responsible me up
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
this is an emotional support booty call
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
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