a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize
