Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
Randomize
