i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
