I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
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