what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
Randomize
