what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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