alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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