I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
fuck your aforementioned shoe
It's just like the Real World with babies
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Randomize
