She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
