i just had sex bonerless
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
