Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Randomize
