WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Congratulations! We have a period
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