Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
I feel like abortions should bother me more
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize
