I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
Randomize
