So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Randomize
