dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
Randomize
