Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
Randomize
