Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
zippers are such a cool invention
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Your penis caused this!
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