Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
Randomize
