Where did you get a picture of my penis
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
