How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
