We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
