we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize
