is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
