I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
Randomize
