ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
