Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
A bitchslap is in order.
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