That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Randomize
