some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
