Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
I think I sprained my soul last night
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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