we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
I just spread your mom's ashes with my new girlfriend. I wouldve waited for you to fly home but she was uncomfortable in the house with her remains there. I'll mail you the urn since u handpainted it.
YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND ALREADY!?! WTF WE JUST HAD HER FUNERAL 3 WEEKS AGO!!!!!!!!!!!!
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Randomize
