dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
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