would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
