You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
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