Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
Brb crying the tears of my youth
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
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