I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
Randomize
