i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Watching her eat just hurts me
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Randomize
