Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
