I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
why is half of my head shaved?
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