I think scott just propositioned me for sex
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Randomize
