Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
Randomize
