So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
