I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
You made out with two different species that night
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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