No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
