I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
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