you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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